Thursday, May 17, 2012

Internet in Heaven !

Random Gandharva 347:Hey, did you hear the news?

Random Gandharva 489:What?

RG 347: I just heard that Lord Indra has been put on probation by the Trinity.

RG 489: Really? What for?

RG 347: You know,the usual. Negligence towards assigned jobs leading to mismanagement of Monsoons in India.

RG 489: Well, he had it coming, dude. Since this computer thingy the humans made, Lord Indra spends the whole of his time in front of it.

RG 347: Yeah man,and that new thing...what do they call it...the Internext, I hear he has even stopped organising the Dance Apasara Dance challenges.

RG 489: Well, he was always a bit loony at job. That’s why we got our jobs at Crisis management Department.

RG 347: You said it, dude!
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Meanwhile, at Lord Indra’s palace:

Lord Indra: Hey,Chitragupta, do something man! I narrowly escaped today. You can’t imagine how weird it feels when you have Lord Brahma’s four hands on your throat trying to strangle you!

Chitragupta: Sir,I have been doing some research while you were gone and I think I have just the thing you need.

Lord Indra: What is it? It better be good.

Chitragupta: Sir,your primary problem is that everyone in the Heavens knows that you are out of work when you are busy chatting on Facebook and Twitter. Now, your performance has been, how shall I put it, average from the very beginning. But now, since you are found absent from the meetings, workshops, etc. people have started realizing that you don’t do a damn thing around here.

In order to change that perception, you need to be away from your PC and inside meeting rooms.

Lord Indra: Don’t be ridiculous Chitragupta. I need to know what’s new on my Facebook and Twitter account, apart from checking my Gmail, Yahoo and Hotmail accounts!

Plus, last week I found this wonderful game called Angry Birds on the internet, and making a new high score has become the new aim of my immortal life. I cannot under any circumstances leave the PC.


Chitragupta: That is why sir, the PC must come to you. While you were away for your hearing in front of the Trinity, I sent a Gandharva to bring you a smartphone. I have also installed a Vodafone SIM with a 3G promotional offer of 2 GB of free data.

And by the way, if you receive a call from customer service for activation, your name is Indra Kumar Barsati from Sukhapur village in UP.
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Lord Indra: Dude, this is even more awesome than the PC! Apart from facebook, twitter, gmail, yahoo, every game and application is either already loaded or readily available on the market!

Hey Google Maps! I wonder what this app does...

CAN'T FIND. SYSTEM FAILURE.

Hmmm...Well I guess,we will have to bring the Google satellite around here for updating their database to include the heavens.

Just then...a tweet from Tarkasur:

@Indra @Shukracharya Going to attack the Heavens with my army. See you all tomorrow. Ta Ta..

@Tarkasur Hey dude, Time Please! I just got this new gadget and I haven’t even explored it properly yet. Please come tomorrow instead.

In fact, you should try it too! Its called a smartphone and let me tell you, its much handy than putting up a PC on your elephant!

After 1 hour,

@Indra This thing’s awesome dude! May be I will come next moth then!

@Tarkasur Thanks man, you are the best!
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The Trinity call Lord Indra after a few days...

Lord Brahma: So Mr. Indra, we have come to know that you scared away Tarkasur along with his army and saved the Heavens from destruction! That is indeed impressive!

Lord Indra: Thank you sir. When I came to know from my sources that Tarkasur was going to attack the Heavens with a huge army, I promptly decided, enough is enough; and took the battle to him instead.

Lord Shiva: And we hear that you went into battle alone, and just seeing you so angry, the whole army, along with Tarkasur himself ran away from the battle!

Lord Indra: Sir, I have been given the responsibility of the protection of Heaven. When I realised that it was in danger of being attacked, I just couldn't stop myself. I felt like...

Lord Brahma: Lord Indra, we are happy that you avoided an imminent attack on the heavens by "whatever means you employed", but your mismanagement of Monsoons on Earth still continues. It seems you are yet to learn your lesson. If you don’t improve your performance, then we may have to depute you for site work!

Lord Indra: But sir, I attend all the meetings, prayer reviews and ceremonies now.You can check my logbook.

Lord Brahma: Yes, you sit there and update your facebook status. And I believe that's how you "scared away" Tarkasur and his army!

Lord Indra (turns red) : How did you know that?

Lord Vishnu (With a grin):You see, in your blind attempts to increase the number of your Facebook friends and Twitter followers, you accidentally ended up adding Krishnakant Narayan and Bholeshankar Prasad too!

Lord Shiva: Moreover, Mr. Hanuman posted a video of you chatting away with Meneka on Skype during Mr. Shani Dev's presentation on the law and order situation on Earth. It already has 130,000 likes!

Lord Indra: But sir, if the three of you can be on facebook and you tube, why can't I?

Lord Vishnu: Errr...Ummm...We are the Trinity!

Lord Indra: So?

Lord Brahma: Ummm...So we need to be in the loop on what all is happening throughout the Universe.

Lord Shiva: Yes, that is what it is. We don't like being on facebook. But we have to...errrr...for the greater good! Now, go off, and do your work!

Lord Vishnu (With a wink): And Mr. Indra, just an advice off the record; next time you are chatting during a meeting, learn to type without looking at the mobile!
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Humor apart, I sincerely believe that Mobile Internet is about to play a much larger role in all our lives in the years to come...It has the potential and will eventually become a useful tool to a lot many applications rather than just fun.