No more games in Delhi

After the recently concluded near-disaster that was the CWG games, the government has made up its mind to bid for other international sporting events too. The economic viability of such a decision notwithstanding, I am curious as to why New Delhi, the national capital gets to be the undisputed contender for hosting such large scale events within the country. First there were the Asian Games of 1982, then the Commonwealth games 2010. And now they are preparing to bid for the next Asian games and Olympics, again with Delhi as our representative.

First of all, we must understand the reason behind hosting such events. These events not only generate revenue in terms of tourism for the host nation, they also bring the country into the limelight for being able to manage such large-scale events. It is also a chance to modernise infrastructure of the host country by means of financing of major projects which leads to exponential growth in the reality sector of the host city. Also, since this infrastructure is permanent, it also serves the long term goal of better public amenities. Coupled with the tremendous scope for job generation in the days leading to and during these events, governments are naturally tempted to host such events. For example, the Beijing Olympics were seen as the rise of China as the next potential superpower with its imposing infrastructure and iconic stadia.

The above picture looks very rosy indeed, but things do not always work out the way planned. For example, It has long been stipulated that the continuing financial crisis in Greece has more to do with overspending of the country's feeble resources on the Athens Olympics. And far from showcasing India as a suitable destination for international investors and realtors alike, the CWG have only succeeded in reinforcing the image of a corrupt India. So these games need to be planned extremely carefully as they can have serous repercussions in the future.

Getting back to the point.

After the widely successful Beijing Olympics, China held the World Expo in Shanghai and plans to organise the Asian games in Guangzhou. They are giving each of their regions a chance at becoming international destinations, with modern and elegant infrastructure. If all the Indian government wants is to “cultivate sporting culture” in India, why can’t India be represented by cities like Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Pune, etc? Why does it always come down to the capital or the four over-crowded metros?

So, what is so attractive about Delhi that our decision makers are hell bent at organising every major event in the national capital? According to recent reports, the revenue expected by the organising committee at the end of the games was never met, while there were frequent cost overruns with corruption and scams galore. But perhaps that exactly is the reason why they do everything they do in the capital. It must be easier whisking away taxpayer's money from where it all ends up eventually(Sarcasm intended).

The Plight of CWG: Even our Gods are nervous!

In their monthly appraisal with the executive members of the Heaven, the trinity asked the King of the Gods about the state of affairs in God's own country in the run-up to the CWG.

Lord Brahma: Mr. Indra, We have been hearing distressing news during our daily prayer review. Many of the executives involved in the preparation of the CWG have been blaming excessive rains as the culprit behind the slow construction work going on, floods in various parts of the country notwithstanding. If this goes on, we will have to order an external audit into the state of affairs at your office. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Indra: Sir, with due respect, I would like to point to the fact that if I had not made it rain excessively in north India, there would have been a drought-like situation which coupled with the inflation would have made the life of the people miserable. Had that happened, then also, the earthlings would have blamed me! And it is a well documented fact that floods have been occurring due to the miserly attitude shown by the dam authorities to store water for producing electricity. They are stocking up for the better part of next year, and release large quantities at the last moment, thus, causing flood-like situations.
As for the CWG, it is unreasonable of them to expect dry days in the middle of the monsoon season! In fact, I believe they should have worked non-stop the previous year when it actually rained less.

Lord Brahma: And why did it rain less the previous year?

Indra: If the Trinity will kindly look at their Order-B6-432, you will find that you had announced the previous year as the Global warming awareness year, and asked all concerned authorities to act accordingly.

Lord Brahma: Oh yes, age hasn’t been kind to us. But still, have you found any solution to this problem?

Indra: Sir, we have started making a list of negligent officials and politicians, that we will give to Lord Vishnu, as and when he decides upon his next Avatar (looking expectantly)

Lord Vishnu: I am sorry Lord Indra, but I do not see that happening in the near future, The avatar is still in the planning stages, there is way too much work to be done, and since, the old magic tricks and shows of supernatural power are not possible in these times, not to mention the strict moral code for celebrities, it will be a while till the next avatar. I advise you to send your agents on Earth to collect evidence against corrupt officials instead. It becomes very difficult during their conviction here, with so many bail applications. Besides, these measures do not look after the present state of affairs...So, ensure that there are no more rains at least for the next ten days both in the construction area and the catchment areas of the concerned dams. Try and keep the weather pleasant, send some undercover agents from heaven, to make sure no more bridges go down at least during the ceremony, and yes, take care of any suspicious activity.

Lord Indra: Do I authorize the agents to use magic, if necessary?

Lord Vishnu: Of course Mr. Indra, how else do you expect the structures to hold!!

Lord Indra: As you wish, sir. On the security front, the “Cow Squad” had been equipped with the modern intelligence gathering apparatus, but the human authorities are adamant at keeping them away from the venues during the games in order to improve the aesthetics of the city. We are contemplating using pigeons for the same.

Lord Vishnu: Yes, hurry up with that.

Lord Shiva: But would it not make people suspicious if there are no hitches at all? The construction is after all sub-standard.

Lord Vishnu: The Indians are wishful dreamers. They won’t notice a thing. And those who do, will be kept under the wraps by the human authorities. I do not think any more glitches will go down well with the rest of the world.

Lord Brahma: That settles it then. End of the meeting. Do pass on to the agents that there will be extra perks for them on smooth functioning of the games.