Monday, May 6, 2013

The Power He Didn't Have A Freaking Idea Of-Part II

Disclaimer: Its just for laughs folks! And yeah, I have absolutely no rights over Harry Potter, I am just borrowing him from Rowling (without taking permission, of course) to serve my nefarious purposes. In fact, I am going one step ahead and borrow Narendra Modi as well for this article of mine. I hope Rowling and Modi have a large heart, else I am screwed. :D

The Boy Who Lived meets Narendra Modi  (In continuation with The Power of Propaganda)

The trio were shown inside an Air conditioned office with a single large desk. Ron looked on in awe as he saw a plethora of strange devices that would probably give his father a concussion. Hermione stepped forward and said:

“Na-ma-sa-te Mr. Modi. I am Hermione Granger, and these here are my friends Mr. Harry Potter and Mr. Ronald Weasly.

“Hello Mr. Poterji. Welcome to Gujarat.  Me and all the 6 crore Gujaratis sympathise with you for your loss.”

“Ummm..thanks. So, you know about me?”, asked Harry.

“Ah yes, you see, whenever there is a business delegation coming, we try to gain maximum knowledge about their work. So, I set all of my intelligence agencies to get information about your company. It was difficult at first; at one time, we thought it was just a joke; but when we dug deeper, we were quite surprised, a whole magical world! That is very interesting. Nevertheless, I assure you...”

“Mr. Modi, actually we needed your help with something....”, started Hermione.

“No, no, we will talk about your work here later. First of all, let me brief you about what opportunities we offer in terms of business potential. My team has compiled a list of fields where you can invest.”

Now, Ron wasn’t accustomed to the muggle ways, and the boy who lived, being weak at heart almost as much as with his mind were shocked when a large screen lit up in front of them and the Minister started with his presentation.

“Mr. Poter, Gujarat is a major industrial powerhouse. We have a large number of process, petrochemical and pharmaceutical industries. So, there is a vast scope for your potion making industries here in Gujarat, you could easily get the raw material from existing industries, we have an LNG terminal coming up, so fuel won’t be a problem, and we already have plenty of skilled manpower to operate your industries.”

“Apart from that, we have been focussing on bringing more investment into Small and Medium scale industries and with our cheap labor, your sports merchandise industries such as broom stick manufacturers could benefit by shifting to Gujarat. We could open ITIs for developing skilled labor for these industries. Moreover, Gujarat is a power-surplus state, so while we don’t exactly understand how your manufacturing processes work, electricity is readily available, should you require it.”

“The second area is the Education sector. I have been informed about your Hogwarts school of magic, and I would like a branch of your school here in my Gujarat for catering to students from South-east Asia. I would also appreciate it if you could help me get in touch with Shri Dumbildoreji to sign an MOU with our technical universities for research and development at the next Vibrant Gujarat Summit.”

“The third and final area is the Tourism sector. We Gujaratis have been good tourists but we do not figure on the world tourism map. I want to change that. I have been told that a street called Diagon Alley is a major landmark and shopping destination in your world. I would like one in my Gujarat as well. Also, your financial institutions like Gringotts bank would bring more wizards which will generate more tourists and more jobs transforming the local economy. This shall be a win-win situation for all. You get a new market, and we get an increase in economic activity!”

“For this I need contacts from your ministry. Now, I have been told that even though you are just a kid, and let me tell you there seems to be a lot of kids like you nowadays, we have one in Delhi as well; you exert significant influence in your world. We have identified a few individuals that you could perhaps get us in contact with: Shriman Fudge, Shri Scrimgeour, Shrimati Umbridge and Shri Malfoy. I would really appreciate it if you could be Gujarat’s Brand ambassador and help us in marketing the state.”

The screen went blank. The Boy who lived had his mouth hanging open apparently due to the sudden sea of information thrust onto him, even as Ron, being well Ron, was busy gobbling up the Gujarati “snakes” offered to the trio. Hermione, however, was visibly worried.

“So, let us discuss about your business now shall we?", Modi beamed.

“We lied about that business stuff just in order to meet you”, Hermione cut in.

Modi was silent for a few moments.

“Hmmm..I suspected that. What business could a bunch of school kids possibly have here in Gujarat of all the places. Okay, time to come clean; I have loads of other work”.

"We are very sorry, Mr. Modi. But you must understand, our world is facing a huge challenge and we think you can in fact help us out", asked Hrmione.

“Sorry, children, I don’t do charity.” Said a visibly angry Modi.

“But what if Harry could get all of that work done with Dumbledore and Fudge?”,asked a desperate Hermione.

“I could?” asked the still shaken boy in disbelief

“And Malfoyji?, cut in Modi curtly.

“Yes, you could and yes sir, Malfoy as well”, said an uncertain Hermione

“Ah, okay, I am listening. What can I do”? asked Modi, now deeply interested.

“Well, as you already know, we have a Dark Lord, sort of a terrorist, who has been after Harry’s life for quite some time now.”

“So, do you need my bodyguards to protect this boy from him?” asked Modi a bit uncertain.

“No, sir. The thing is...How do I put this delicately, we have seen how anyone who is associated with you seems to lose all credibility and all of his followers...”

“So, we want a photo of you shaking hands with You-know-who which will make him lose all of his followers”, muttered Ron with a full mouth.

“Really smooth, Ron”, said Hermione sarcastically. "But yes, Mr. Modi, that about sums it up."

“And did you think for a second girl, what a photo with a terrorist will do to my credibility?” asked a seething Modi.

“Well, that’s the point. Since, the wizarding world is guarded from the muggle world by the Statue of Secrecy, our Ministry won’t allow any leaks into the muggle world let alone so far away in India.”

“I don’t know. Even if I agree to this, how do you plan to make this happen? Even with all of my commandos, I don’t think it is safe for me going out there and meeting this terrorist.”

“We could get it photo-shopped you know. You won’t even need to meet him”, shouted a boy from the back of the conference room.

Modi glared at the IT support boy.

“Meeting room now!”

After half an hour, Modi came back to meet the trio.

“Mr. Poter I don’t know, ... this doesn’t seem like a good enough deal for me. My entire political career will be at stake”

“Harry could get the next Quidditch World Cup hosted in your state,” muttered a desperate Hermione.

“Get me a photo of your Dark Lord, and you will get the hand-shake in color in one hour, deal done. It was pleasure doing business with you Mr. Pooter”, said a visibly excited Modi as he shook hands with Harry.

On the way out, Harry asked Hermione
“Are you sure your plan is going to work? Because it seems like I have promised way too much for just a photo!”

“Yes, you have indeed Harry”, muttered Hermione.

To be continued...

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