Monday, December 9, 2013

Darth Vader - The Cute Little Kid Behind The Mask

However hard I try, I do not find Darth Vader, the reigning Sith Lord and leader of the dark side menacing.

I know, it may seem a bit out of the blue, but I do ponder over such serious issues affecting mankind every now and then; apart from Global warming of course!

So, coming back to the topic at hand, I always imagine him as a cute kid, who got himself a helmet two sizes too small, and now that he can't get out of it, he has developed a reclusive, anti-social personality. He hates the world for making him feel the need for an intellectually inferior society's approval.

I mean really, the way he tries to restrict the air flow through your lungs simply by clenching his fingers from afar is quite childlike and adorable!

Of course, that's what I think.

It could as well have been a souvenir, custom forged in the fires of Mount Doom from the leftover material after fabrication of the One Ring, whose immense evil properties were passed on and bestowed on to the one who...ummm..wields it on his head....

Or it could just be sort of a cyborg thingy that keeps him from dying due to the third degree burns sustained as a result of getting too close to molten lava, as George Lucas claims (and we all know the supposed fate of the curious cat)..

But still I am a bit iffy about the last one..its just insane..

I strongly believe its just an ill-fitting helmet..

Anyways your guess is as good as mine...

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Sinister Musings: My path to become a Dark Overlord

This is a very dark post...People with feeble hearts better stay away...LOL

When people talk about delusions of grandeur, they normally do so in a negative, defensive manner...It is always like,"I have no delusions of grandeur, but...". It is as if they are not even proud of their delusions!

That is not the case with me.

My delusions of grandeur are rather vivid. And I entertain said delusions on almost an hourly basis.

Also, I like to believe that my delusions of grandeur are rather dynamic in nature...

That is to say, they have kept pace with my age, changing priorities, personality, the surroundings, my choices in entertainment and so on.

So, unlike when I was a kid, when all I wanted was a revolving chair and becoming Superman (complete with ability to fly and Heat vision); My delusions have modified over the years. I like to think, that the passing years have eased my illusions into realistic life goals.

That was a long time ago...

That was before I began subscribing to the philosophy of legendary villains such as Loki, Lord Voldemort, Tywin Lannister and Lex Luthor.

Now, my delusions have modified...a bit...

Though I would still like to have a revolving chair in my office (which I actually do now)...and superhuman powers are, of course welcome; I would rather have a secret lair for a residence-cum-office and a few minions/flunkies to do the chores...

Yes, I would very much like to be Dark yet benevolent (to my supporters, Duh!) Overlord.

All I need in my life now is an advanced degree and a Superhero to get the drive, who could inspire me to attain and exhibit my true potential...I am brimming with possibilities, you see.

Needless to say, the said Hero will either have to die a gruesome death or join me in my nefarious schemesas a head minion in my bid to take over the world as a Head Minion.

But he/she (I am gender neutral and plan my Dark Organisation to be an Equal Opportunity employer) doesn't have to worry.

Once he joins me, he will be entitled to retirement, gratuity and cashless medical benefits like all the other minions.

Like all other Dark Lords, I would also like an awesome, dramatic theme song/music (preferably composed by Hans Zimmer) when I enter particular settings, looking my sinister best and with my personalized Evil Maniacal Laugh:

MWAHAHA(short silence)...HAHAHA(short silence)...HAHA(continued until desired effect)

which will compulsorily be practiced as a therapy by all minions, especially in the mornings for a productive workplace and maintaining a good work-life balance.

Yes I know, I shall be a very considerate Dark Lord...