The Plight of CWG: Even our Gods are nervous!

In their monthly appraisal with the executive members of the Heaven, the trinity asked the King of the Gods about the state of affairs in God's own country in the run-up to the CWG.

Lord Brahma: Mr. Indra, We have been hearing distressing news during our daily prayer review. Many of the executives involved in the preparation of the CWG have been blaming excessive rains as the culprit behind the slow construction work going on, floods in various parts of the country notwithstanding. If this goes on, we will have to order an external audit into the state of affairs at your office. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Indra: Sir, with due respect, I would like to point to the fact that if I had not made it rain excessively in north India, there would have been a drought-like situation which coupled with the inflation would have made the life of the people miserable. Had that happened, then also, the earthlings would have blamed me! And it is a well documented fact that floods have been occurring due to the miserly attitude shown by the dam authorities to store water for producing electricity. They are stocking up for the better part of next year, and release large quantities at the last moment, thus, causing flood-like situations.
As for the CWG, it is unreasonable of them to expect dry days in the middle of the monsoon season! In fact, I believe they should have worked non-stop the previous year when it actually rained less.

Lord Brahma: And why did it rain less the previous year?

Indra: If the Trinity will kindly look at their Order-B6-432, you will find that you had announced the previous year as the Global warming awareness year, and asked all concerned authorities to act accordingly.

Lord Brahma: Oh yes, age hasn’t been kind to us. But still, have you found any solution to this problem?

Indra: Sir, we have started making a list of negligent officials and politicians, that we will give to Lord Vishnu, as and when he decides upon his next Avatar (looking expectantly)

Lord Vishnu: I am sorry Lord Indra, but I do not see that happening in the near future, The avatar is still in the planning stages, there is way too much work to be done, and since, the old magic tricks and shows of supernatural power are not possible in these times, not to mention the strict moral code for celebrities, it will be a while till the next avatar. I advise you to send your agents on Earth to collect evidence against corrupt officials instead. It becomes very difficult during their conviction here, with so many bail applications. Besides, these measures do not look after the present state of affairs...So, ensure that there are no more rains at least for the next ten days both in the construction area and the catchment areas of the concerned dams. Try and keep the weather pleasant, send some undercover agents from heaven, to make sure no more bridges go down at least during the ceremony, and yes, take care of any suspicious activity.

Lord Indra: Do I authorize the agents to use magic, if necessary?

Lord Vishnu: Of course Mr. Indra, how else do you expect the structures to hold!!

Lord Indra: As you wish, sir. On the security front, the “Cow Squad” had been equipped with the modern intelligence gathering apparatus, but the human authorities are adamant at keeping them away from the venues during the games in order to improve the aesthetics of the city. We are contemplating using pigeons for the same.

Lord Vishnu: Yes, hurry up with that.

Lord Shiva: But would it not make people suspicious if there are no hitches at all? The construction is after all sub-standard.

Lord Vishnu: The Indians are wishful dreamers. They won’t notice a thing. And those who do, will be kept under the wraps by the human authorities. I do not think any more glitches will go down well with the rest of the world.

Lord Brahma: That settles it then. End of the meeting. Do pass on to the agents that there will be extra perks for them on smooth functioning of the games.

A fond memory...

The world is suddenly a much brighter and happier place...It is amazing how a single event can change your whole perspective towards life...

It has been exactly 2 weeks since I was placed at Linde and the idea has finally started to sink in. After the exorbitant celebrations (which were happily conducted in the pleasurable company of my best friend--that is me) over the past 2 weeks, I have realized that this is perhaps the first time since years that I have truly felt alive.

Linde is one of the very few accomplishments that I am proud of, more so because of the near perfect and flawless way (which is not the case with what I do mostly) in which I went through the entire process. You see I always appreciate perfection in life, though I am far from achieving it, that one day, I was as near to it as I ever got. It was like a dream day for me.

That day will be etched in my memory for a long, long time. As my name was announced, the world literally went blank. Though I had been expecting the job offer after the excellent interview, the actual announcement hit me like a load of bricks. I had a job! As the newly-placed and their crowd of friends went ahead to party, a still shocked me, caught an auto-rickshaw to catch the 7:30 bus. I do not generally like busy streets and heavy traffic, which is why I avoid the rush hour, but as I stepped out of the auto, the whole world seemed to be a happier place, the normally irritating neon lights gleamed as did the people around me, all of whom seemed to have a permanent smile pasted on their lips. The world had suddenly become a much brighter and happier place to live in.

As the hangover finally wears off, I am left with a few fond memories of the day. Maybe one day, when I am an old (still awesome) man, and recollect my life, I will fondly remember my first interview, the borrowed tie from Saurabh, Vishal helping me tie the knot, while all the other friends offered encouraging advice, me nervously sitting on the desk waiting for my interview, and those golden 20 minutes...

What does independence mean to us?

Every year, the whole country celebrates 15th August as our independence day. There are plenty of articles in all the newspapers and magazines praising our nation's long and prosperous history. There are various concerts on TV, we get to listen to quotable quotes from the world's who's who, that they cook up leisurely, while we smile gleefully and feel proud of our magnificent past. They inescapably go on about our democratic credentials. Every year the Prime Minister and the President talk about India becoming a superpower in the foreseeable future. News channels try to reacquaint us with the freedom fighters. All this is pretty routine stuff.

But, to be honest, 15th August is just another holiday to me. A day when I get to wake up late in the morning. Mess up my daily routine in the best way possible, and may be catch a bit of editorials in TOI. I find it useless to listen to the speeches. I anyway know them by heart.

I am sorry, but I really don't connect with the lousy westerner's idea of the magical and mystical India. "The cradle of Human race" Well, I don't know about the past, but with our burgeoning population, that might very well be true in today's context.

Though I have tremendous respect for our freedom fighters and their ethics; except for a few values, their passion for freedom is all that inspires me. I rather prefer people like Einstein, Bohr, Raman, Bhabha, APJ Abdul Kalam as my heroes. So, I mostly avoid going to independence day celebrations. After all, I can still commemorate them sitting at home...Actually, that's lame...but I am lazy, so that's that.

I have been disillusioned with our democratic values. The only thing that we have here in India is the extremely exaggerated form of freedom of expression, which of course I have been using liberally.

Every general election I try and hope that some other party get to power, but without fail my great countrymen ensure that the same people get to be my rulers year after year. It feels more like Monarchy behind an extremely hideous mask of Democracy. I do not understand, how one can feel empowered by getting to push a button every five years. They should rather feel ashamed of the fact that in spite of practicing their right for the better part of the century, we still face the same problems that we faced when we became independent, with a few stray figures here and there.

And I always thought that I was disastrously optimistic in my views...

and yes, of course, Happy Independence Day to all...:D

The Burden of Tradition and History...

A few days ago, while writing a shopping list in Hindi, I found out, not only have I degraded my calligraphy skills in Hindi (as if it were even possible in the first place), 6 years after I last wrote a sentence in Hindi in my board exams, I can barely write anything in my native language. My Hindi teacher at school had predicted this long ago. Of course, he meant it in a degrading manner. It is significant, that Hindi is the only Indian language I know of, so it is kind of scary that when the need arrives, I won't be able to communicate my ideas in writing through this language. Maybe, I am not a language person after all. It surprises even me that after having lived the whole of my life in Gujarat, I can barely speak Gujarati to this day, and can read it to a certain extent due to its proximity with Hindi.

But, during the same period, my English language skills have improved vastly. So, from where I see it, I have just evolved to get better connected to the Global community.

As the world gets even more globalized; tradition, heritage, and language will eventually become a burden passed on to the youth by their myopic elders. After all, India has more than 2500 years of history and culture; at some point we will have to let go of a few unnecessary things, get our culture in sync with the modern times. If we keep falling back on the excuse of conserving our age-old traditions, the Indian culture will stagnate overtime. Moreover, it is the open-minded questioning, and revolting attitude of the youth that can usher in new innovations both in science and life in general.

Why cling on to diversity and identity, when we all can unite under the umbrella of a global culture? Most of us here may not remember the song Vande Mataram, but if just a song were a yardstick of patriotism, then it would have been a cheap commodity. In an increasingly inter-connected world, we are required to know about the cultures and traditions of other countries too. So, it does seem selfish of our elders to make us remember and value all of their traditions in addition to everything else.

So, a day may come, when like Sanskrit, Hindi may also be lost at the altar of Globalization. It is also possible, that with our sheer numbers and hopefully strong economy we force a diminished version of Hinglish on the world. Either way, life and tradition as we know them now will definitely change over the course of our lives. That does not make us or our descendants any less "Indian" than the freedom fighters who fought for our independence. India, does not live in its languages and culture, it thrives inside its people and the spirit will always remain the same even if their mode of expression changes. That spirit is of humanity.

So, the next time you are degraded by the elders for alienating from the traditions, you can give a logical explanation, that of evolution. We have not forgotten the traditions, we just happen to know their latest evolved version.

I hope I become a believer again…

The following discussion may seem a bit odd to some of you. It is because I generally shy away from such deep and serious matters at college and try to be light hearted. But as I have been told, blogs are meant to show your inner self, to express what you truly believe in. So, here I go, giving up all pretensions, writing straight from the heart.

If any of you has been close enough to me in my personal life, you must be under the pretension that I am a very religious person, in that, I never, throughout the year, eat breakfast or anything for that matter, before taking a bath, and offering prayers. Some of you might even have seen me going to temple many times. What you don't know is that this is only what you think you see me doing. Though the habit started years ago when I was still at school, when I was indeed a staunch believer, and offered prayers sincerely, I realized along the way, that it becomes difficult to be a true student of science, and be a theist at the same time. As a result, what you see me doing today, is justified by my mind as a healthy way of living, so as to clear my conscience that I am still faithful to my true passion—that of science. The essence of science is to question long-held beliefs with hard-facts. If you, regardless of being a disciple of science, are blinded by unsubstantiated beliefs, then, you really can't understand science in its most basic form. At best you can be agnostic, looking tirelessly for some sort of symmetry between the laws of physics and the unexplained.

Even though people like me question its very foundation, religion truly is one of the greatest concepts, one that defines the whole mankind, just like science does. It gives hope to some, living in acute poverty, from the sub-Saharan Africa, to various parts of Asia, while making other millions to sacrifice their lives in the name of holy war, to save and secure something, that they have never seen in their lives, and probably may never see; that has simply been hammered down over generations.

So, what is so attractive about believing in God? Why hand over the reins of your destiny in the hands of an invisible entity that might not even exist? Perhaps it is the only solace for the destitute, who after working for 18 hours, still live on the edge, without shelter, clothes, or food, that some almighty power shall take pity, and improve their lives, in a world full of selfishness and distrust. Perhaps, one feels, that may be after suffering so much, they could satisfy the almighty with their prayers, to secure a better life the next time. OR maybe, for the powerless, it seems like an attractive idea, that there is some great, ultimate power out there that can set every thing in order, with just a thought, what they would never be able to achieve on their own.

Of course, a desperate man will believe almost anything. Can Science help such people? No. And it might never be able to. Unlike religion, science cannot provide hope or spiritual satisfaction, it can only provide material comforts to those who can pay for it and work to obtain it.

Had there not been the concept of religion; the destitute, knowing that this is the only chance at a life that they have, would have eventually worked up a civil unrest. So, religion makes people behave in a certain humane way, which we call as Morality. Religion drives inside the minds of everyone, a conscience and feelings of guilt for something interpreted as to be wrong.

And that is why, I never discourage people who believe. Perhaps, they are the only reason, that us, the followers of Science are able to work in a comparatively peaceful world today.

When I look at the sadhus thronging Kumbhs, or moving around the country praising God, living at the bare minimum, but still satisfied and happy, I find that with science comes the restlessness, which though, is necessary for the continuity of a civilization by constant innovation, robs us of internal peace. We live away our whole lives in our constant pursuit of true knowledge, while these men of God live off, blissfully ignorant.

What attracts me the most towards religion though, is the concept of immortality. May be it is a consequence of youth, but it is difficult for me to come to terms with the only scientifically logical explanation of death, that of an end of existence. Somehow, the idea to linger on seems way too attractive than the absolute end of consciousness. Unlike the villainous way in which it is mostly portrayed in literature, the idea of being able to see the generations change, the world develop, and may be one day perish, only to be reborn again, does seem attractive. The idea of Moksha, as described in Buddhism and my own religion, however, does not appeal to me. May be it is because I have mostly lived a comfortable and well-off life, but nevertheless even the constant circle of life and death sounds more attractive.

As the long tug-of-war comes to an end, as always, Logic triumphs, but still somewhere inside me, a part hopes, that I become a believer again...

IPL--The most explicit exercise in consumerism in India

The yearly celebration of cricket in India is finally over, but IPL continues to be in headlines courtesy those disgruntled politicians and ex-cricketers, who weren't able to profit from this cash-spinning extravaganza.

But these people, along with the media have failed to recognise the true nature of IPL. It was never about cricket. Had it been, then they could have as easily changed the name of the Ranji trophy and be done with. It is about the rise of Capitalism in India. While the early intentions of Lalit Modi and co. might have been towards betterment of cricket and domestic ranji players, they were quick and smart to realise that, had IPL been promoted on the lines of the Ranji trophy it would never have worked. The support and ownership of Bollywood as well as corporates lended not only the much-needed glamour, but a large infinite market to the advertisers, not to mention huge money.

Unlike many of my friends, when I watch an IPL match, I do not care who is playing and who is winning. There is no point in spoiling my day over something that at the end of the day is still domestic cricket. I instead see giant hoardings and an MRF airship floating over the stadium. I see how every decision of the third umpire is preceded and succeeded by the Kingfisher ad. I notice how, almost every match completes its full quota of 40 overs even if initially the batting team was in tatters and how the bowler seems to wait for the ad on the scoreboard to end before bowling the fourth bowl of every over. I can cite many more such instances.

In a nutshell, IPL is about the rise of consumerism in India. It tells you that there is such a large domestic market out there that Pepsi, Coca-cola, Sprite and Maaza, all can sponsor the same match and get more eyeballs and publicity than all of Ekta Kapur's soaps combined.

Governments around the world including India, took various measures to increase domestic demand in order to sustain growth in view of depreciating global demand during the recession; If IPL is fueling domestic demand, thus helping our economy expand, then why cry over morality, as was witnessed in the Indian parliament which is convened by ancient(both in age and their outlook) ministers who have redefined morality and decency in their political lives. Needless to say, almost all parties and senior leaders were in favour of scrapping IPL on the grounds of morality and explicity, and sacking Lalit Modi for causing financial irregularities. Wherever huge money is involved, irregularities are bound to happen, and sometimes, such irregularities even make for good business sense; and the kind of financial irregularities our leaders have shown in whatever they do over the past 60 years, they do not qualify to comment on the IPL or Modi.

So, my message to our leaders and the media would be--By all means, sack Modi for whatever rigging he has done, but recognise his invaluable contribution to the rise of Consumerism in our country and don't even in your wildest dreams, think of scrapping or modifying IPL for the sake of morality.

Where Capitalism wins...Part-III

The Concept of Horizontal development:

Highly industrialised and urbanised states like Maharashtra and Gujarat do not get sufficient funds from the centre because of the stupid (at least I think so) ideology of the UPA --that of horizontal development (If some region or some set of demographics are somehow benefitting more, from the existing policies or by virtue of their skill or profession, or availability of resources, then no more resources need be allocated for their further development, and the money meant for these affluent regions be diverted to the unprivileged regions, whose standard of living has been stagnant, be it due to lack of skills among the workforce, poor policies or poor implemetation, non-availability of resources, etc. Mostly, such a policy is backed by stating the chances of social unrest in the poor sections due to lack of resources).

So they siphon off the money from higher GDP and well developed states like Gujarat and Maharashtra, and fund the inefficient states like U.P., orissa, etc. In essence, we are being punished both for the inefficiency of the bimaru states and being a well developed state. Such problems do not arise in a capitalist society, where the development of the developed is not sacrificed for the needs of the under-developed. As Capitalism provides equal development opportunities to all, it comes down to the regional governments of the undeveloped states to be more efficient, and the industry in that region to be more competitive. Instead, the government should find ways to better frame and implement its policies. It will be better to plug the holes before pumping huge amounts of cash down the drain.