Making "sense" of humor : It ain't funny

Some people are born funny, others have to work hard to make themselves seem funny to others. Unlike popular perception, I belong to the second category. I have developed this ability after exhaustive observation of people's reactions to various forms of humor.



It may seem to you that I am making unnecessary brouhaha over as light a topic as humor, but the truth is, while it is no rocket science, it is dangerous enough to cause wars. Humor is always at the expense of someone. If not thought through, it may as well be termed bullying. It should thus always be treated with extreme caution. Things can get very ugly, people though they may not express it, do get hurt deep down, so your safest target is your self.




The various nuances of Humor.

Let us see, if I can make you into a harmless funny person in a few simple lessons.



A friend recently asked me to tell a joke. I was at a loss. People should understand that I am just a situational humorist, not a stand-up comedian. The requirements of both are vastly different. While a situational humorist looks for humor in real-time day-to-day life, a comedian has more to deal with the presentation aspect as well as the occasion and decide on the type, length, and flow of the joke. So, the first lesson is, know what you are aiming for. You either memorize excellent jokes and present them or find little funny things in your daily life. Personally, I suck as a comedian.



If you want to be funny or humorous, you first need to be insightful; you need to anticipate what kind of humor works for a particular person, what works universally, and when you start getting good at it, people eventually start finding, rather looking for jokes in whatever you say or do.



Self deprecating humor: Self-criticism is the best and safest bet at humor. However, open-minded your audience may be, nothing serves their egos better than the feeling of apparent domination over anyone (in this case the humorist).

Another thing to be kept in mind with self criticism is that it should almost always be accompanied by a tongue-in-cheek reference to your apparent pride and happiness in said humor. This keeps your humor balanced and avoids reinforcement of your image as an evergreen crybaby.

This logic also holds while making fun at the expense of someone else. He/she should feel a smallest amount of pride from the humor and thus you avoid an extra person carrying a grudge against you.

For example, when I inadvertently tell you how a 7 year old trumped me in a verbal fight, or beat me up, I am not only making fun of myself having lost to a relative toddler, thus fueling your ego (in terms of strength, tact or assertiveness, really depends on the subject), but also, exhibiting maturity and patience, endearing personality traits that are universally appreciated.




Repetition is a very important aspect in humor. It creates a stereotype for the humorist that connects him to the audience by its recall factor. But one should be very careful while using a stereotype. When done rarely, it loses its recall value through which the subject connects with you, and if you fall back on it excessively, it will affect the innovation factor in your humor which will again adversely affect your popularity.




Brand of humor: I personally avoid adult references in my humor, but it really depends on the age group you mostly interact with. It also has to do with the personality that you exhibit. But my view is that, a few subtle references apart, one's "Humor Quotient" should be strong enough that you don't feel the need to fall back on the A-rated.


In a nutshell, I am very good at making very simple things into complex demons with large technical words and seemingly logical intricacies.

No, you picked the wrong nutshell !!!

What I mean to say is that if you are a standard wimp like I used to be, you will be better off as a methodical humorist. Though it is not difficult to be funny otherwise, what I have just illustrated is a safe and proven way. It really is a balancing act and an art. Finally, it is up to you if to you if you end up being rude or downright boring. Until then, enjoy your laughs !!!

Random Revisited

Welcome all to The All New Random Musings. As you must have noticed, I have backed up all the past posts (as well as your comments) in this new blog.



But what was the need for a new blog? Did I write something wrong in the previous one?



As a matter of fact I did. You see, over the past year I had shared my views on economy, politics, religion, science and life in general, but none of those articles justified my use of the term "dudiestdude" for the web address. It was merely a publicity stunt, one that had run out of its utility for a long time now. So, I present you with Payojism. A rather subtle title, compared to the downright "funky" dudiest dude.



Without further ado, Happy Reading!!!

Moving towards a Two Party Democracy

The past few weeks have been the most testing for the Indian polity since a very long time. With various central and state governments accused of corruption charges, Indian media has justifiably feasted on this "Scams Galore". However, the fact that has eluded the attention of many in this whirlwind, is the steady decline of the regional parties in India. This, above any other recent development may hold much more significance to India's future as a democracy as I shall to try to explain.

For the last two decades, the rise of regional parties in various major states like UP, Maharashtra, Bihar, Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu has made coalition politics a necessity in the formation of both State and Central governments. Prominent among them have been BSP, SP, RJD, LJP, JD(U), DMK, AIADMK, Shiv Sena, and many others. The presence of these parties, though arose from the need for regional representation at the Indian parliament, has now lost significance, mostly due to their ineffectiveness in addressing their regions' problems. The problem lies here. They are neither too big like the Congress or the BJP to command equivalent funds from the corporates to fuel their national ambitions or expansions, nor are they small enough to be completely irrelevant. In a coalition, they slow down the decision making process, while, their comparatively short stature-ed ministers siphon off money, while they can (as a part of the coalition) hampering national interest in the process, as has amply been shown in case of Raja.

But recent developments seem promising. It is perhaps for the first time in the last two decades that most of the major regional parties seem to be at their weakest at the same time. With parties like SP routed in the 2009 Lok Sabha elections; RJD, LJP wiped out in the recent Bihar elections; DMK facing the same fate in Tamil Nadu, Shiv Sena already weak in Maharashtra after the rise of MNS; it seems the days of regional parties are numbered. If Mayawati loses the next elections in UP, it will serve as the final nail in the coffin of such parasitic parties. Such a scenario will not only ensure the blocking of funds from corporate houses to these parties, but also weakening of their influence. If the Congress and the BJP play right, they can effortlessly fill this power vacuum. By absorbing genuine leaders, they can check the smaller parties' influence, while strengthening their own ranks.

So, does that mean, an end to regional representation? Will it lead to undermining regional interests?

No. This will give us an opportunity to have corporate sponsored regional think-tanks which will act as lobbyists both at the center and within the two main parties. This will not only depoliticize regional interests but also bring "Lobbying" which is right now a shady business in our power corridors, in to the mainstream. This will make decision making immune to caste and religion based politics, and shift the focus towards the economy, job creation, inflation etc.

Above all, this will be the maturing of the Indian democracy, with two well defined Left and Right parties.

This may come as the first step to what I think will be a more productive and efficient governance system which can then be nudged towards Meritocracy. Read: An Alternate System of Governance: Meritocracy

A Monument to Secularity and Tolerance in Ayodhya

With all parties involved in the age old Ayodhya dispute preparing to lock horns in the Supreme Court, claiming the entire property as their own, it seems another generation of Indians will go along, fighting each other over the question of Temple or Mosque. Moreover, the possibility of the verdict going in the favor of a single community will only raise tensions and make matters worse. On the other hand, if the Supreme Court, like the Allahabad High Court gives a carefully balanced verdict after a long drawn-out war, with the scales tilting in the favor of no one in particular, the religious leaders will again be tempted to file fresh appeals. The country, in effect will be sucked into an endless cycle of apprehension and tension.

The religious leaders and the Central government alike must realise that a matter like Ayodhya, that borders more on faith than on actual land ownership, can not be solved in a court of law. What we need is a pragmatic shift in out attitude towards such disputes. I propose, a Monument to Secularity, on the disputed ground.

In the past, there have been many voices, suggesting construction of hospitals or universities in the disputed area, but I beg to differ. A hospital or a university can be built in any part of the country. We should not need the excuse of a long standing unresolvable dispute to build world class medical or educational facilities for our citizens. Building a hospital may solve the issue for good, as no one in their right mind will oppose it, but it would not do justice to the issue itself, over which thousands have lost their lives, and that has been in the Indian psyche for so many generations.

So, a monument to secularity, a modern temple of faith, that would simultaneously serve the purpose of inter-faith worship, as well as a museum depicting all the major religions of the world and their philosophies, yet displaying the vibrancy of our nation and the Tolerance and Mutual Respect among our people is what we need.

To further make my point, this will serve as a great PR exercise in reinforcing the Secular credentials of our country, besides propelling Ayodhya into a major tourist destination and helping boost the stagnant local economy. Additionally, Our country has not had an iconic structure built since the Lotus temple in Delhi. For too long have we been relying on the Taj Mahal, it is time that we move on to something new, that better describes India's character, and I think such a monument has the best chance of doing just that.

No more games in Delhi

After the recently concluded near-disaster that was the CWG games, the government has made up its mind to bid for other international sporting events too. The economic viability of such a decision notwithstanding, I am curious as to why New Delhi, the national capital gets to be the undisputed contender for hosting such large scale events within the country. First there were the Asian Games of 1982, then the Commonwealth games 2010. And now they are preparing to bid for the next Asian games and Olympics, again with Delhi as our representative.

First of all, we must understand the reason behind hosting such events. These events not only generate revenue in terms of tourism for the host nation, they also bring the country into the limelight for being able to manage such large-scale events. It is also a chance to modernise infrastructure of the host country by means of financing of major projects which leads to exponential growth in the reality sector of the host city. Also, since this infrastructure is permanent, it also serves the long term goal of better public amenities. Coupled with the tremendous scope for job generation in the days leading to and during these events, governments are naturally tempted to host such events. For example, the Beijing Olympics were seen as the rise of China as the next potential superpower with its imposing infrastructure and iconic stadia.

The above picture looks very rosy indeed, but things do not always work out the way planned. For example, It has long been stipulated that the continuing financial crisis in Greece has more to do with overspending of the country's feeble resources on the Athens Olympics. And far from showcasing India as a suitable destination for international investors and realtors alike, the CWG have only succeeded in reinforcing the image of a corrupt India. So these games need to be planned extremely carefully as they can have serous repercussions in the future.

Getting back to the point.

After the widely successful Beijing Olympics, China held the World Expo in Shanghai and plans to organise the Asian games in Guangzhou. They are giving each of their regions a chance at becoming international destinations, with modern and elegant infrastructure. If all the Indian government wants is to “cultivate sporting culture” in India, why can’t India be represented by cities like Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Pune, etc? Why does it always come down to the capital or the four over-crowded metros?

So, what is so attractive about Delhi that our decision makers are hell bent at organising every major event in the national capital? According to recent reports, the revenue expected by the organising committee at the end of the games was never met, while there were frequent cost overruns with corruption and scams galore. But perhaps that exactly is the reason why they do everything they do in the capital. It must be easier whisking away taxpayer's money from where it all ends up eventually(Sarcasm intended).

Can Windmills cause Global Cooling???

During another one of my now frequent brain storming sessions, where I think about everything from the upcoming harry Potter flick, to the electro magnetic pulses generated as a result of a Nuclear explosion, I made a rather startling observation. Wind power which is touted as one of the most promising alternative source of energy, might actually have long term consequences on the regional weather and may be even climate.

Winds, as we all know, are caused mainly by differential heating of Earth, so they can be imagined as agents taking energy (heat) from the hot regions (near the equator which receive maximum solar radiation)towards the poles. Similarly there are seasonal winds and local ones near large water bodies, where they are produced due to high specific heat of water, which makes sure that there is always a temperature gradient during the day and night(Wind blows from the water body towards the Land during day, and vice versa during the night). There are also localized forms, where vertical winds are produced due to high temperature at the sea level compared to higher altitudes.

Now, a wind turbine taps the Kinetic energy of the wind (which is in turn a function of the temperature gradient across which wind flow is taking place). So, at the outlet, the wind will have significantly less speed as compared to the upstream of the turbine. So, for this subdued wind to reach its destination (where it would have reached had there not been a wind turbine), the wind will have to absorb the heat from the downstream of the wind mill. And there we have it, the wind mill has resulted in localized regional cooling.

So, let us assume that we install a sufficient number of wind turbines near, say a coastline. So by above logic, wind flowing from the sea towards the surface will loose a major part of its energy at the turbine(where we are harnessing this energy to produce electricity), and will absorb heat from the surface in the turbines's downstream to renew its onward journey. So, we are seeing a localized cooling effect (neglecting heat generated due to blade friction, which might as well cancel out the marginal cooling thus produced).

So, while also helping the cause of Green energy, the wind mills may also offset global warming.

But it should be noted that in a sufficiently large number they can also influence local weather in the immediate vicinity and the implications of any such trends can not be simplified based on just a few scientific variables.

A new Solar approach...

During one of my off late recurring sessions of black-out, where I stare at nothing in particular, thinking about vague things, I came up with the idea of using Silicon based photo voltaic cells in a new way.

We all know that Silicon being a semi-conductor (having an energy gap in between that of metals and non-metals) gets excited by a certain frequency of electro-magnetic radiation, which leads to production of holes (absence of electrons) which leads to a current in the circuit. Since, photons of visible light are able to provide this requisite energy, solar cells are used in a few commercial purposes as an alternative, clean energy source.

However, this method has one disadvantage. Due to the rotation of Earth about its axis, we do not get the electricity during night or even cloudy days, when there is no sunlight; and even during the length of a day, the orientation of the solar panels needs to be adjusted continuously to get the highest intensity of light, thus making solar energy obsolete for large scale purpose.

Which brings us to my new idea, that of using solar photo voltaic effect to produce electricity from the residual radioactivity from the fuel used in nuclear plants or spent fuel which needs to be disposed off safely, and has no use. After all, the energy carried by the Gamma rays produced as a result of radioactivity has a much higher energy (though that won't influence the amount of electricity so produced) than visual light, so it can very well be used. There are still a few loose points in this theory regarding how to maximise the intensity of the Gamma rays to an extent as to make for economical electricity production (which unlike in the case of visible light will be available round the clock and throughout the year),and if there will be some effect on the Silicon nuclei as a result of this residual radioactivity, which might affect its properties. There is also the issue of practicality of such an experiment, as maintenance of the solar panels will be difficult in such high radiation zones.

Nevertheless, I personally believe that such alternatives need to be considered if we want solar photo voltaic technology to be feasible enough for large scale purpose.